Audience

I am aware of my audience. Every time a little fragment of actual writing sneaks out and onto the blog I feel exposed. These are initial forays into the unknown. The writing may be poor, directionless, just experiments with character and setting and voice. And yet I have been putting it out into the world before it has barely begun.

A friend who has been reading this blog expressed his concern. I was a little confused. I wasn't certain what I had written at 5am that morning. I realise now that I have been quite candid with an audience, albeit a small audience. I talked about the relationship between depression and writing, two aspects of my life that have always gone hand in hand. I wonder about the relationship between a writer and her audience. So many writers have told me that they never think about their audience as they are writing their first draft. They allow a private intimacy between them and the work. A secret affair.

I have to admit that at 5am I am also not thinking about my audience, I am just thinking that I have made a committment to posting a new blog post every day and I have to write something before work and I feel tired and uninspired and I am still not sure where this book is going and it has been over three weeks and I want it to be well under way.

This is the process of writing.

I remember it from the last book and the book before that. Still I long for the time near the end of the book when it is all falling into place. I am itching for traction.

Untill I get a break to just focus on the book you, my audience are going to be reading posts that are about a troubled process. If I could just have a week to focus on the book we would see some serious work emerging. For now, this is my daily grind.